Your Own Personal (insert prophet of choice here)

In this time of increased gullibility and uncertainty about our miserable future, the world can always find room for one more Poundland Jesus or Happy Shopper Marshall Applewhite prepared to peddle redemption or exemption to more money than sense Patreons. If only I had the gall – I often say to myself. How easy would it be to set up a cult – nothing too greedy, just a few acolytes and enough donations rolling in to make sure I never had to work a day job again? Pretty easy, I reckon. I can talk – I can persuade, if I have a genuine belief in the end result (financial security and the unbroken validation of susceptible idiots) – I can charm, on a good day. I can do words of wisdom and boss people around a bit, especially if they’re kind of enjoying it. I could be believable, from a distance. I could be the man on the bicycle behind the curtain. But I don’t have the gall.

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